Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
