My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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