i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
