she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
