My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
