Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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