So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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