You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
