Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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