Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's never too late to be topless.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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