everyone is single if you try hard enough
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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