I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
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yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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