I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize