I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
