I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
