rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
