i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
