I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
