I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
