guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
