Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
