Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
