My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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