Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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