He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
