mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
