I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize