No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
