It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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