So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
