We won't sleep together?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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