how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
