Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
