I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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