The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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