he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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