Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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