I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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