All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
