I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
