We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
