I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize