i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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