i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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