I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
