My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
