U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Im part way to drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
