low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize