I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
