If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't notice because vodka
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
