New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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