I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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