Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
