Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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