I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
