It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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