better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
