Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
