I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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