Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
