Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
