I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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