Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
