Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
